Sunday, September 19, 2010

Journal #1 & #2

So, we started this to our kiddos and didn't keep writing.. so, we're picking up now! To you babies - 

From 4/22/10
My dear babies,
Tonight I lay here in pain, a feeling in the pit of my stomach that I can't seem to overcome.... a feeling of loss before gain, a feeling I can't quite comprehend or describe. As I wait for you, I strive to worship in the wait, I strive to prepare in the wait, and I strive to be at the feet of the Cross while I wait. 
But tonight... tonight I'm overwhelmed by the love in my heart for you babies! I'm scared that I'll make lots of mistakes, but more scared of waiting any longer to hold you and care for you. It's a pain unlike anything I've experienced... after all, how can we grieve for such an exciting time as being expectant parents. Well, babies, I tell you, I am grieving. I'm grieving for your birth mother, your birth father, and for any other birth family you may have... I'm grieving that they will never get to know you the way that I will get to. I'm grieving for their loss and most of all, for their souls. 
Babies, I love you more than I can describe. I knew that a mother's love was intense, but had no idea. I haven't even met you yet, and I can't put into words my love for you. 

We started this journey to you eight months ago (1/9/10) and couldn’t be more excited to bring you into our lives. You’ve been in our hearts for many years now and we can’t wait to see your beautiful faces. 
We’ve been preparing your room, preparing our hearts and home, and reading everything we can get our hands on. However, nothing will prepare us for the joy you’ll bring into our lives. 
This week we’re starting a new journey in a Bible study called Entrusted with a Child’s Heart - just another step in preparing for you! Just as God loved you before the creation of the world, we love you before we know your name too! 
We walk by your room each day, smile, and think about the day we’ll bring you home! 
We’re coming for you sweet pea(s)! 


  1. Beautiful are going to be a great momma!!!! :)

  2. very well written. true & honest post. i understand it completely.

  3. You and Dan will be the most awesome parents! God truly knows He will be entrusting His little ones into the most capable and loving hands with you two!